Uh - Uh- UhUhUh - UPDATE!!!!

Dearest Readers,

Why hello there, it's good to see you again. Let the randomness ensue. Brandon and I got a call from our agent a day before our cousin's wedding, letting us know that we had an audition to play the twin sons of Bob Vance on our favorite show, The Office:

We neerly pooped and peed our pants. We left at night and drove 6 hours back from Arizona and promptly arrived in Hollywood at 3:30 AM. We were a little dissappointed when we arrived at the audition. The script asked for to twins 20-29 who were tall. The actor who plays Bob Vance is 6'4. Brandon and I play teenagers and are a staggering 5'8. Well, we did do the audition anyway. Let's just say the audition involved me calling Michael Scott a "douchebag." Wonderful. We started our classes with the Groundlings. Let me tell you, improv classes will kick you right in the taint. The Groundlings have tons of rules you have to memorize while trying to improv. Our class pretty much got their butts handed to them. Well, it is a learning experience. To my suprise, we had a sub teacher the first day and guess who it was:

That's right. Mindy Sterling. You might remember her as Frau Farbissina from the Austin Powers' movies. She is super nice and fun. Awesome. I auditioned for a part in a Jon Heder (Nepoleon Dynomite) movie to basically make-out with his love interest in the movie. I didn't get it but they wanted me to play the make-out guy's best friend. So I am in the shot and the director wanted me to make fun of Jon, but then later changed his mind and told me I couldn't say any lines. Talk about some blue balls. He should have just kicked me in the nards. Anyway, I at least got to talk with Jon Heder and see Jeff Daniels, so that was neat. Brandon auditioned to be an emo kid on a new pilot by Barats and Bereta (www.baratsandbereta.com). Those are the guys who make all those youtube videos. Anyway, we dresed up brandon all emo and he went for it. He got called today with the casting director telling him that he is on hold, or on a veil. This means Brandon basically has the part but they are waiting for other stuff to be more concrete (script, location, etc.) So Brandon might actually get to be in a pilot episode for their show, which is cool. Hopefully it gets picked up. Let's see. Oh yeah. For the last two weeks, Brandon and I have tried to find night jobs pretty much anywhere and have ridden the Rejection Railroad home everytime. We can't even get busser jobs. I have a $100,000 private college degree yet I'm not qualified to clean someone's dirty dishes. Go figure. Please pray for nightjobs. Also, Nick Thune called us and asked us to write a short for him. So Brandon and I have been working on that a lot. We love it. It's what we really want to do here, so that's awesome. Hopefully we actually end up doing it. Random note: Today I had an audition for AXE body spray that consisted of this: I had to sit in a chair while a girl behind me pretended to pour whip cream down my face. Next, I had to pretend I was on fire while the girl tried to put me out with a fire extinguisher. I went ballistic. I screamed at the top of my lungs and spazed out to the extreme. When I left everyone in the casting studio was staring at me. I love Hollywood. Anyway, we've been missing the heck out of our friends and family. Keep praying for us, we need it.

Love,

The Twins

Red Knight Going Down…Down, Down, Down

Dearest Readers,

Ok Brandon and I have been gone out of Hollywood for quite awhile so there is much to tell. Sorry, no exciting Hollywood-ish type stories but a lot of great real-life ones. For Christmas, Brandon and I ventured over to the magnificent Lake Elsinore area where we stayed at Shane Ryan’s house. It was amazing. To actually be with a good friend and a great family was such a great change of pace from our lonely one bedroom in Hollywood. I mean, we lived like kings. Real beds instead of a blow-up full mattress Brandon and I share. We even got to eat fruit and vegetables which Brando and I had not consumed in more than a month (Don’t worry mom, Easy Mac™ takes good care of us.) One day, Shane took us back in some hills and we went cave exploring. We found this one:

We had a little Mag-Light™ and I took the lead and went deep into the depths of the cave with the name “Chronic Town” graffitied all over its walls. Well we didn’t find any marijuana, but what we did find was a good scare. About 50 yards into the cave, there was a tiny hole that one could barely squeeze through. I took the flashlight and started to squeeze. All of a sudden, I heard the shuffling of rocks in front of me in the room I was trying to squeeze into. I shot out of that whole faster than (insert intelligent, witty expression). I have not been that frightened since my childhood. We ran out to the entrance of the cave and I was so frantic that I railed an overhang with the top of my head. Ouch. After we got out I was still quivering from the adrenaline and thought, “this was SO fun.” It roused up feelings I had not felt since I was a kid. I dunno, I guess when you get into a routine of work and trying to be successful, it’s exhilarating and a welcomed break to do things small kids would do. Brandon and I went to a Christmas service at Shane’s church dressed up:

(Ok I normally wear pajamas on Christmas Eve, but the only pajamas I had were my Grandmother's. Sometimes, I even creep myself out.)

After staying with the Ryan household, Brandon and I started driving to Arizona to see my parents and see my cousin get married. On the way, Brandon and I made a stop at the Thunderbird Resort in Palm Springs to visit Kyle and Amy Evans. Gerald Ford owned a house near where we were staying. His body was there while Brandon and I were there. Creepy/Neat. We saw Rocky Balboa and I nearly peed myself when a Rocky’s trainer refers to his punches as “hurt bombs.” Awesome. Brando, Kyle, and myself made the drive to see the greatest dinner show that has graced this earth: Medieval Times™. Oh my goodness was I not disappointed. We fortunately were placed in the section to cheer for the red knight. We cheered our brains out while slurping down Dragon Soup and Miller High Life™. (Observation: Miller High Life™ is so water-downed that it seriously tastes like they filled our mugs with water and dropped a hop in it. That’s right, a hop.) Our cheering was not enough. The red knight took a swift broadsword to the belly, spewing forth his entrails on the dusty floor. Okay maybe he got lightly tapped in the stomach by the flat side of the sword and returned later miraculously unharmed to meet and greet his fans at The Roundtable Bar™. Afterwards, we met and greeted the red night at The Roundtable Bar™ while being pleasantly surprised to learn that Medieval Times™ does in fact contain a dance floor. A dance floor that was playing Usher’s critically acclaimed dance club hit, “Yeah.” Please picture this folks. The majority of the audiences present at Medieval Times™ are white upper-class tourists. Seeing moms and dads letting loose on the Medieval Times™ dance floor was a sight I hope not to soon forget.

Brandon Krunk dancing the heck out of the Medieval Times™ dance floor

After this adventure, Brandon and I drove to Arizona to meet the parents. We got to play golf with my dad, which was a grand time. The Hilliard family then lit up New Years Eve with a party that Scottsdale, AZ will never forget. We played Texas Hold-Em’™ to 12:00AM and were asleep by 12:05AM. Brandon and I had to cut our trip short due to some auditions. We drove 6 hours back to LA and arrived in our apartment at 3AM. On the audition note, I would like to say that I auditioned and got the part as the teenage boy in a short film of The Giving Tree. I’m super excited. Well, Brandon and I start improve classes at the groundlings this week. I am excited/nervous to try my hand at improve. We will see. Also, Brandon and I are currently looking for night jobs, so prayer in that department would be amazing. Ending note: my mom would wake us up everyday when Brandon and I were living at home. She never skipped a beat when we were at the hotel:

Love you mom

Love, The Twins